Hello everyone! I'm obviously not in Paraguay anymore, but I miss writing, and I have had a lot on my mind lately so I thought I'd start blogging again.
Quick update on my life because this blog is about me after all :) I'm just starting my third year of medical school. I'm in the last week of my surgery rotation, and it has been absolutely amazing. I am hooked, but I am looking forward to the rest of my rotations. I have to take the surgery exam at the end of the week so I should be studying for that, but this is what's been on my mind lately...
Relationships. It seems to be all anyone cares about these days. Don't get me wrong. I've spent plenty of nights crying about stupid boys (because they are all stupid...and women, we're all crazy) wondering what I did wrong, or why doesn't he like me (hell, I even threw some shes in there just for shits and giggles), or why doesn't he call me back, or why do I keep falling for guys that cheat on me? I obviously have a type. Why, Why, Why...and it usually eventually ends up at "Why am I not good enough?" I went through that cycle for years. Then one day, relatively recently, I woke up and had several revelations. First of all, I am good enough. I'm pretty freaking awesome, and that's good enough for me. Second of all, I have never experienced a relationship that brought anywhere near as much happiness as tears, frustration, drama, anger, mistrust etc, so why am I all butt hurt that none of them lasted? Third of all, why on Earth, and when did society start putting so much pressure on being in a relationship? It's one of the first questions friends and family, heck, even strangers ask you. Are you married? Are you dating anyone? Why aren't you dating anyone, you're a catch? (Fuck, I don't know, probably because I'm crazy.) Don't worry, you just haven't met him yet. Why is it so important for me to meet him? Why can't I just be me, and why can't everyone just be happy that I'm just me. I'm healthy. I'm working towards my goals. I'm working hard, I'm making gains, and I'm living the dream. I came into this world alone, and I'll leave this world alone so why does everyone think it is so imperative that we must spend our time on Earth married to one person?
Now before I get to far, I don't want everyone to think I am bashing relationships. I'm not. I know a lot of people that are in very functional, healthy and happy relationships, and I am so happy for these people. I love seeing happy couples together. I love seeing the love radiate from their eyes and through their smile. Seeing a truly happy couple instantaneously makes me happy. If that happens for me one day, I will also be happy, but if it doesn't, I don't see that as a reason to be unhappy. Many people do, and that is the problem I have. Society has put so much importance on finding your match that the majority of people spend their single lives miserable, putting themselves down thinking they aren't good enough, they aren't pretty enough, they aren't skinny enough, they aren't curvy enough, whatever, just because they haven't met their match. I hear from friends nearly every day through phone calls, messages, or facebook posts that come up on my newsfeed about how miserable they are because they don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it just breaks my heart. Everyone has their own unique qualities, talent, personality, and radiance, and I believe everyone would shine a lot more if we valued individuals over couples.
Whewww, I'll get off my soap box now. Thanks to all of you who made it to the end. I feel truly lucky that I finally came to peace with being single, and I hope others can also find peace and happiness within themselves and among their loved ones. Also, I don't know when I started sounding so cheesy.
