I'm officially...

Engaged! Bahhh that'll be the day...I'm officially a VOLUNTEER!  G-35 (aka "The Hot G" not self named) has graduated from trainees to volunteers hooray!

If you’d like to send me a package here’s some stuff I’ve been craving…

·         Chocolate almond butter

·         Swedish fish

·         Mike n Ikes

·         Flavor blasted goldfish (xtra cheddar)

·         Almonds…I’d just like some nuts in general (no pun intended)

·         Pop tarts-Brown Sugar and Cinnamon flavored (The best kind)

·         Black Amethyst body spray from Bath and Body Works (Don’t worry I don’t want to eat this)

·         Anti-wrinkle cream…I’m seriously aging fast

·         But honestly, anything you send with love, I’ll enjoy!

And if you do send packages…words of wisdom…don’t declare anything over $100 dollars…I’m not expecting expensive things from people, but it’s not uncommon to up the declaration for insurance purposes…but this results in me having to pay RIDICULOUS fines to get my package of peanut butter…and slows down the process immensely because it will go through customs.

Random Stories

                Paraguayan men have the best/worst pick up lines, and I am constantly entertained by them.  My favorite goes a little something like this...  I was riding in the back of the van listening to my ipod on the way home from Asuncion one day.  We were stuck in traffic and the window washing guys were weaving between cars trying to make a buck or two.  One of the guys tried to wash the PC van window, but our driver waved him off.  As he was walking away he caught a glimpse of me, walked over to my back window drew a heart with his squeegee pointed at me through the middle of the heart and winked.  We all about died laughing in the car.

                We had our third round of language interviews at the end of training.  I had to do a Guarani interview and a Spanish interview.  They brought in an outside person to conduct the Spanish interview.  I received an advanced low in Spanish (advanced mid is considered fluent) and an intermediate mid in Guarani…Pabla must have enjoyed my descriptions of heta animalkuera.

                On the last day of language class our wonderful Profesoras put together some special treats for us.  Ramona handed out a helpful page of Spanish texting slang…and Delfina taught us all the bad words in Guarani.  Oh, how I love the Delf.  I had asked her a few days before when we were learning the best words and she laughed and pretended she wasn’t going to teach us so I told her to go peel her penis (the only Guarani slang I knew).  Some of the translations were just to die for.  i.e. “Go jerk off on a cactus,”  “Did you get your belly buttons together (?) (Missionary Position)”, and “you (bust) swell my balls.”

Swear In Weekend

                Swear in weekend started at 3:00am Friday morning when the MASSIVE thunderstorm woke me up.  Jake was coming to pick us up at 5:00am so I just got up and started getting ready.  We arrived at the Peace Corps office to be wanded down, frisked, shuffled into vans and escorted to the US embassy.  The ceremony was short and sweet (the way everything should be…especially when it’s not in your native language).  Don Pedro was the M.C., Don Clark (the head honcho of PC Paraguay) said some nice words, the Ambassador said a small piece, we took the oath, and then the Paraguayan minister of health said a short speech and then there was cake.  Delicious cake.  We were vanned back to the office to receive our cell phones, internet, and bank cards…and there were a ton of meetings that day…library commission meetings, HIV/AIDS commission meetings etc.  I left around 3 to head to the hotel.

                Baker and I decided to go on an alcohol run shortly after we arrived at the hotel.  We asked the front desk how to get to Whiskey House-the only liquor store in Asuncion-and they gladly gave us directions.  I was in heaven when I walked in.  I had more to choose from than boxed red wine and Brahma beer!  I was making my way up the hotel stairs when one of the workers informed me we were not allowed to have alcohol in our rooms (thank you G-29 for making stupid, drunk decisions at the Chaco Hotel).  I was super pissed that they didn’t tell me we weren’t allowed to have alcohol in our rooms when I was asked the front desk for directions to the liquor store.  Naturally, we snuck the alcohol into our rooms…but we weren’t actually that sneaky and almost got in big time trouble.

                Health all went to dinner together at this restaurant called Bolsi Bar (probably spelled that wrong) and over half of the group got food poisoning.  Whoops.  Luckily, I avoided more worms.  After dinner we went to a place called Gale’s Pub for Ahendu.  Ahendu means I listen in Guarani, and it is an event put on by PC volunteers that is basically an open mic night at this pub.  The pub was packed with Americans and (almost) everyone was just absolutely shitfaced.  I felt like I was in a sloppy, drunken meat market, and I was not a fan.  This was also the night that I officially decided I’m a grandma, and I’m okay with that.  After Ahendu we went to this gay bar called Hollywood, and I decided I’d officially had enough when people started taking their clothes off.

                Saturday was much more my style.  I wandered around Asuncion with some friends.  We looked in some shops, wandered through the Hippie Market, ate some Burger King (which was pretty much to die for) and went to a volunteer fair put on by Peace Corps volunteers.  At the volunteer fair I met up with some more friends and we went on a hunt for some ice cream because I’m clearly not eating enough sugar.  We stumbled across this ice cream shop called Amandau which was the Paraguayan equivalent of Mojo aka heaven in the form of an ice cream shop.  Later that night we sat by the pool on the roof of the hotel and watched the sunset as we listened to some Jack Johnson.  It was so tranquilo and just perfect. 

                I left Sunday to go back to Cumbarity to spend one last night with my host family and pick up my little girl.  Monday morning I decided to go for one last run to the monument.  When I was running back I tripped on a rock and before I knew it, I was sliding along the dirt road on my stomach…WIPEOUT!  I was about to have my first Paraguayan breakdown and start crying, but then I just started busting out laughing instead and decided to walk the rest of the way home.  Everyone I passed was giving me super strange looks if they weren’t asking me if I fell.  Then I encountered the deaf, mute of the community for the first time.  I’d heard of her, but I’d never seen her.  She ran up to me waving her arms and pointing at all the dirt on my body, and I tried to explain I was running and I fell until I realized she was deaf.  So then I did a little re-enactment for her.  She enjoyed it and walked away laughing.

                The cab came to pick me up at my house at 4:00pm to take me to site.  My mom and one of my host sisters rode along with me and Bailey.  Bailey was absolutely wonderful the whole ride.  She climbed up on the back dash and slept the entire way.  We got near my dirt road turnoff around 7:30 pm and it was nearly pitch black outside.  The darkness and the fact that I’d only been to the site once was not a good combination.  Needless to say we got lost (surprise, surprise) but I finally made it.

                I caught the bus into San Ignacio-my pueblo for the next two years-to do some shopping and familiarize myself with the town.  While I was waiting for the bus to go back to my community I introduced myself to a lady I recognized from the bus ride in.  Her name was Lucila, and she turned out to be a sweetheart and invited me over to make some sopa paraguaya (corn bread-ish stuff) the next day.  Later that afternoon I visited another family (the current in-laws of the previous volunteer).  They were super sweet and invited me into their home to make and eat some chipa!  Sooo delicious.  They also invited me over for a delicious lunch of sheep and pig the following day.  The next day I woke up and went for a run sans wipeout.  After I showered I started walking over to Lucila’s house, and I decided to stop at Don Hugo’s house along the way.  He was originally a name on my paperwork as a possible host family so I wanted to meet him.  He and his wife were so amazing.  They were so welcoming, telling me I could come whenever I’d like, and I was already like a daughter to them.  I’m planning on moving in with them shortly, and I’m really excited about it.  I didn’t get to visit with them too much since I was on my way to Lucila’s, but I’m planning on spending a significant amount of time there.  Lucila and her family were also wonderful, and Lucila invited me to live with her as well.  I think I’m going to take her up on her offer…stay a few weeks with Don Hugo and family and then a few more weeks with Lucila before I find a place of my own.  I’ve met a couple of really great families so far, and I’m really excited to get to know these families better and meet the rest of the community!