Happy Birthday Paraguay

This year is the 200^th Anniversary of Paraguay’s independence from Spain, and it’s kind of a big deal.   There have been advertisements and banners and decorations and non-stop talk about the Bicentenario since I arrived, and now it’s here…POR FIN!  All the schools prepared little parade/show things.  I watched the one at our elementary school on Thursday and it was super cute.  They did traditional Paraguayan dances and mini skits, and a couple people made some speeches/recited some poems, but I can’t tell you what they said.

Work

                Alright, so I’ve had some people asking me to explain a little more about my work and what I’m actually doing here.  So, I’ll try to keep this relatively short, but (as always) I have a long winded answer.

                Before I arrived in Paraguay, I was under the impression that after training, I would arrive in my permanent community with a community contact (aka boss) who I would report to on a regular basis.  My community contact would have projects and what not going and I would be his/her little sidekick and help out.  Additionally, I would come up with smaller projects on my own and do them in my spare time.  Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

                After training, we are completely on our own (I mean we still have the support of Peace Corps…and we have an outstanding staff that’s willing to help us out) in our communities.  We were in charge of making it to our communities on our own, setting up our own living arrangements with host families, making our own community contacts, and developing our own projects.  We are all in different communities, solo.  It’s slightly overwhelming; however, for the first 3 months in site we’re just supposed to lay low.  We need to integrate into our communities, get to know the families, continue learning the languages and the culture etc.

                Since I’m only a month in site, I’m still laying low.  I thought it would be a good idea to pull a “Billy Madison” if you will and spend a week, as a student, with each grade level.  I thought it would be a good way to get to know the students and the teachers.  Turns out I was wrong (this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life as of late).  I’ve only been spending about 2-3 days with each grade level and I’m absolutely bored out of my mind.  The kids only go to school for ½ day, and they only do work for a grand total of about 45 minutes.  An average school day goes a little something like this: The kids arrive and the teacher says good morning (or good afternoon students).  And then the students YELL, like robots, good morning profe.  Then the teacher says how are you?  And the students YELL muy bien, gracias, y Usted?  And the teacher responds with very well also you may be seated (all of this happens in Spanish, not Spanglish).  Then there might be some kind of icebreaker like a song and dance or some of the kids will tell jokes or something, then the teacher teaches for approximately 15 minutes, talks a bit, and writes about 5 sentences on the board.  The students then have about an hour to copy the board.  It takes most of them the full amount of time, I’m not sure why.  Then they have recess and buy chocolate and suckers from the director of the school, then they come back to class for snack time: cookies and milk provided by the government.  I’m not sure why snack time doesn’t happen during recess, but who am I?  So they eat their cookies and (warm) milk for a while and then the second subject of the day happens.  It goes a little something like the first: the teacher presents material for a very short amount of time and then the students have a ridiculous amount of time to copy the material from the board.  Then it’s pretty much time to go home.

                My favorite grade was first where I got to sing a song “Yo soy un monito” (I’m a little monkey) and do an accompanying dance where I scratched my butt. 

                I’m not used to spending much time in American elementary schools (as an Adult at least) so I’m not sure what the knowledge comparison is, but I was in third grade the other day and almost the entire class didn’t even know how to say numbers.  They couldn’t tell you that 1,023 was one thousand twenty-three (in their language, of course).  Most of them couldn’t tell you what department they lived in (the equivalent of an American student telling you she lives in Arizona).  Needless to say they don’t seem to be learning much, and I’ve been tempted to poke my eyeballs out because I’m so bored.

                I’ve been working out pretty consistently, and I currently have a youth group-ish.  I went for a run and did a quick workout in my front yard a couple weeks ago.  By the time I was finished I had about 8 neighborhood kids circled around me saying they wanted to run too so I got back up and did some more stuff with them.  We went for a jog and had some sprinting races, then we came back and did some frog jumps, handstands and cartwheels and stuff.  They come over every day around 4:30 or 5:00 and wait for me to go.  It’s pretty cute.  It’s nothing organized because they won’t really do what I tell them to, but they will copy whatever I do (or try to at least) so I usually just do whatever I want and then they end up doing it too.  They all run barefoot and I’m nervous my “exercise class” is going to be the cause of their hookworm! 

Guarani slipups

                My host family has been helping me with my Guarani.  Sometimes I feel like a circus act whenever we have visitors because my host father always says to the visitor “watch this” and then starts asking me questions in Guarani.  Most of the time I sit there staring at him concentrating real hard but I still have no idea what he’s asking.  He keeps probing until I can answer one and then everyone gets really excited that I can speak Guarani.  I try to speak as much as I can…which is very little.  I’m pretty much the equivalent of a toddler learning to speak.  I grab my shower stuff and explain “I’m going to shower, I’m dirty.”  Then when I step out of our wooden box of an outdoor, coldwater shower, I explain “I’m clean.”  I tend to use a lot of Guarani at mealtimes…”lots of meat,” “chicken eggs,” “I’m hungry,” “I’m full” etc.  One day I got really excited about the extra large mandioca I had just grabbed for lunch and I exclaimed “mandio guasu” which literally means large mandioca.  Everyone started cracking up and at first it was normal because they always laugh at me, but then my host father says “you like the large mandio, don’t you?” And everyone started cracking up even harder and I suddenly had a flashback to training when we learned mandioca is another word for penis depending on the context.  Leave it to me to talk about large penises during mealtimes.  So the next week we’re eating lunch and I was really out of it for some reason that day.  I was super tired and my brain was not functioning.  I finished eating and my host mom asked if I wanted more, and I replied “no, I’m full” (or so I thought) in Guarani.  After it came out of my mouth I thought it kind of sounded funny and then everyone started laughing.  My host dad asked if I knew what I said so I thought for a minute and I was like I think I just said something about a chicken, and he was like no, you just told us you’re pregnant.  Oooops.  So then I took it a step further and said “I’m pregnant from the big mandioca” and just gave a big smile.  They all about died.  I can successfully make a bad, dirty joke in Guarani. 

Bailey

                My Bailey girl is getting so big!  When we arrived she was the same size as the two little dogs here.  Now, the dogs can literally walk underneath her!  She’s super spoiled, but she is slightly more well behaved than your typical Paraguayan dog…which isn’t saying much.

                She’s found herself a Paraguayan boyfriend…actually several Paraguayan boyfriends.  The other day at dinner I exclaimed my dog has found a boyfriend before me and everyone started cracking up, per usual.  Then my host mom let me in on the little secret that the town midget, whom I have yet to meet, wants to date me.  Ever since I told them I’ve never actually had a boyfriend, my mom tells every single man that comes to our house, “She’s 22 and never had a boyfriend.”  I might have a boyfriend soon haha.

                Speaking of men, my host brother from training keeps calling and texting me.  Why did I give him my number, you ask?  I didn’t.  He had to creep through my host sister to get it.  Anyway, I never answer, but he keeps trying.  But I think it’s really funny that he refers to me as his “hermanita linda.”  If you’re going to hit on me, perhaps you should drop the little sister part, just a thought.

The House Hunt

                The house hunt can be summed up in 2 words…super frustrating.  I’m just going to leave it at…I’ve had several options that haven’t worked out and I’m still on the hunt. 

Guapa

                Paraguayans use the word guapa/o to mean hardworking, and it makes me laugh what I get called guapa for.  One day my host mom came outside and asked me what I was doing.  I was literally standing there doing nothing except for eating an apple, so I said I’m eating an apple and she replied with “que guapa.” Yesss. 

Patron Saint Day

                Every community in Paraguay has a Patron Saint Day.  My community’s day was May 16…and I can’t pronounce or spell the name of our Saint.  Fail.  My host sisters kept asking me if I was going to go to the celebration that started at 2 so I said ok.  It was about 2:15 and we still hadn’t left, so I asked them if they were ready to go and we started walking.  My host parents were like why are you leaving now?  I was like I thought it started at 2?  And they were like it hasn’t started yet.  So I was just like I don’t know what’s going on, what we’re doing, when it starts.  I was kind of frustrated because nobody explained what was happening I just heard it was starting at 2.  So I retreated into my room to read my book (a vampire series…Black Dagger Brotherhood…OMG so good!).  A couple minutes later I hear this ruckus and everyone is like Casey, it’s starting.  So I walk outside and there is a giant parade walking through the community.  It started with the marching band…and by marching band I mean 5 men playing different instruments at the front of the parade.  Next there were a line of horses, each of the horsemen carrying a Paraguayan Flag.  Next were members of the community on foot, motos, and then finally in cars.  I guess the parade started from the other end of the community and when it passed your house you joined in on the march to the church.  So we joined and marched to the church.  When we got to the church, my chiv cramps started churning so I left before mass (que triste).  I’ve been in Paraguay 4 months and I’ve gotten out of mass due to diarrhea twice now haha.

So all in all things are going well for me.  I still have a lot of ups and downs, and every once in a while I have an overwhelming desire to come home, but the feeling usually fades when I find myself laughing at the irony of my life while I sit on the latrine with a case of diarrhea having to use ripped out pages of my journal for toilet paper.  I can't make this stuff up.  But, it doesn't change the fact that I miss all my friends and family in the states like it's nobody's business, and I would give just about anything to be able to hop in my car and meet up with all of you at a nice little restaurant for some chicken wings and a raspberry vodka and 7.  Keep in touch-most of you suck at it...I'm just saying.