The Going Gets Tough

First of all, I just want to say thank  you to all my amazing friends and family.  Most of you know what I've been going through the past week, and it means the world to me that you are still supporting me and sending me lots of love...and for those of you who don't know...the story goes a little something like this...

Last weekend I went to visit my dear friend, Lucila (the lady I met on the bus my first week here).  She had originally told me I was welcome to stay with her if I so desired, so I went to see if that offer was still good.  She said of course I could still stay with her, but there was a slight problem.  She was leaving for Argentina the following day until the end of the month.  Well, silly me, never knowing what date it is figured this was just a couple of days and said "Oh, perfecto, muchas gracias" when she said I was more than welcome to stay with her when she returned.

So the next day Hugo asked me when are you moving?  And I said well I was going to stay with Lucila when she gets back from Argentina.  And he said, well she's gone for the whole month. Mmm she left on June 1 and is gone until the end of June...ooops.  So I said, well then I'm staying here.  Afterall, you wanted me to stay for the entire 2 years (ok I didn't say that part).  And he said, well you can't stay here.  My son (who left his wife and job in Argentina) is tired of sleeping with the creatures (my translation for kids) and wants his room back so you need to leave.  So I said, Ok I will start looking for something tomorrow.  Then I went in my room and had my first breakdown and major cry session since arriving to Paraguay.  I felt really betrayed because this is the family I felt closest to in the community, who wanted me to stay for the entire two years, and who insisted I stay in the room even though their son was coming home from Argentina (I offered to leave before he came back).  In hindsight there were some passive aggressive behaviors that I should have taken as my cue to leave, but hindsight is always 20/20 and for Pete's sake I'm in a different culture and I can't understand a lick of Guarani or what is a cultural norm.  So the next morning I woke up and hopped on the bus to San Ignacio without saying anything to anyone.  Thankfully, Lyn, the office coordinator helped calm me down, hung out with me all day, and helped me figure out what to do.  I went around town and bought a bed, an oven/stove thing and other things that were necessary in order to live on my own, then Victor a Peace Corps chofer drove me back to my site.  I unloaded all my crap into my room then told Hugo I have all my stuff and I'm ready to leave as soon as I have a place to go.

It's now 48 hours after he asked me to leave and I'm sitting in my own house.  It is a brick house with a thatch roof and dirt floor.  There are spiders everywhere and I'm scared of what kind of bug bites I'm going to wake up with.  I have a water spicket out front, a latrine...a legit I have to get down in the bottom of my squat to defecate latrine and then pour water over my waste to make it go somewhere else, and a wooden box to shower.  There is no water in the shower so I have to fill a bucket at the spicket and then carry the bucket to the box.  I took my first bucket bath tonight.  I was basically like a 5 year old kid splashing water on myself, dunking my head in a bucket and not actually getting any cleaner.  At least I tried?

There have been good things happening too :)
-I started a women's soccer team on Monday.  We have our second practice tomorrow, and we have a game on Sunday.  Not really sure where the game came from or why on earth so quickly, but it should be interesting.  I think I'm playing. I'm definitely the worst player on the team, but they all want me to play for some odd reason...probably for another excuse to laugh at me :)
-One of the teachers in the high school started teaching me Guarani during Recess today.  I'm supposed to go back tomorrow.  She is really helpful and is actually writing things down with me and explaining things as opposed to just blurting out random phrases to me like everyone else does.
-I have my first ever actual boyfriend.  His name is Nali and he's 21 so I guess I'm a cougar.  He's Paraguayan and lives in my community.  Our conversations are interesting.  He's most comfortable in Guarani and I'm most comfortable in English so we try to meet in the middle with Spanish.  Hopefully I didn't just jinx the relationship by publishing it on here.
-The kids here are amazing.  I can't understand a lot of what they say, but they get so excited to see me and they fight over who gets to hold my hand or hug me first and its just adorable.

I promise to expand more on the good things next time!  Again, I want to thank all of you for being there for me.  I'm bound to go through a lot more ups and downs and I wouldn't be able to make it if I didn't have such a strong support system.  I'm sorry that at this point I feel like I'm just taking and taking from everyone and I can only hope that I will be able to give back to you all one day.  And a special thanks to Jenny.  I don't think I can ever thank you enough.  You're probably the only one who will ever understand what I'm actually going through and your advice and support is keeping me going.  I'm not sure how you did it alone 4 years ago!